The Cheim Manuscript - Richard S. Prather

One of the most underrated writers of classic American pulp crime fiction, Richard S. Prather wrote around 40 novels, short stories and novellas featuring his LA private investigator Sheldon 'Shell' Scott. They have a humorous, tongue-in-cheek side but are also fine crime novels with great writing.

The Cheim Manuscript, 1969

Opening line: "They say time will tell and on Mrs. Gladys Jellicoe, it had spilled everything."

Inevitably, being an LA detective, Shell Scott's investigations sometimes involve getting involved with the movie industry. Sometimes you'd be better off getting caught in the middle of a turf war between two rival gangs - not so great when the two are combined. When Shell is hired by the rather prim Mrs Jellicoe to track down her errant but mild ex-husband Wilfred Jefferson who hasn't paid his alimony in two months, it doesn't seem all that promising a case. Before you know it however, Shell is in a topless night club with go-go dancers trying to find out what 'Jelly' was doing there in the company of a voluptuous actress Sylvia Ardent (apart from the obvious) at the Panther Room and why he is behaving quite unlike himself.

That's just the first of a string of hot dames who Shell beds in the first half of the book, but he soon has more to worry about when he discovers what Jellicoe has been up to. He has absconded with the manuscript of an explosive autobiography penned by his boss, the movie mogul Gideon Cheim (brilliantly and egocentrically called 'I!'). There is potential for a lot of blackmail of famous stars in those revelations. Cheim was on his deathbed when he handed the manuscript over to Jellicoe, but seems to have made a remarkable recovery and wants his manuscript back.

That's the least of Shell's worries however, as despite his best efforts and an unfortunate encounter outside Cheim's hospital room, Scott finds himself indeed caught up in a dangerous game being played between the gang leaders Eddy Lash and Mac Kiffer.

It's not all hardboiled swagger and clipped delivery of witticisms, although there are plenty of that to enjoy, (see below). Nor is Shell some superhuman PI, but one who is capable of making mistakes and acting before thinking. There's a brilliant scene in this book where he bursts into Eddy Lash's bathroom that works through his split second thought processes, not least is whether he has time to go to the toilet (how rarely does it happen that crime novel investigators get caught out in the middle of action?). Sometimes you react, trust your instincts and hope it turns out for the best. Sometimes you get it wrong. Rarely does any other writer take such time to work through those thought processes. 

Not only that but Prather takes the time to work through and explain a complex plot, not leaving any loose ends, covering it from all angles. Or at least I think so, and it's a bit too difficult to figure out without a spreadsheet and schedule, but it sure sounds convincing. The main thing is there is plenty of action, shoot-outs, bad guys getting hit, stunning women wearing next to nothing and a lot of fun attitude to it. Also, critically, it's written with skill and conviction. In fact, Shell reckons that that even though he is unlikely to see any payment for his work this time, he has been well paid in 'favours' from the stunning 'tomatoes' this time - the 'zex maniac'! What a guy! Incomparably great writing from Prather.

Favourite lines (there's a lot in this one!):

"She didn’t exactly turn me on since it is my habit to dally, whenever possible, in the company of lasses crammed with zip and sizzle, gals with flashing eyes and flaming hair, lovelies who pooch and pout and sway and wiggle. Among other things."

"And in my language— or in any other man’s language— she was a vision because as far as the feminine face and figure were concerned, she was a kind of aphrodisiacal Esperanto."

"'He’d been like a father to me. I felt like I was committing insect.' 'He bugged you, huh?'”

"Lash actually looked as if he had frostbitten eyes. Man, those orbs were cold. He could have lain at noonday staring at the summer sun and those icy glimmers wouldn’t have warmed up before 2 p.m. Deep-set, dull, pale blue, in that chill pasty face they were little open graves in the plains of a bony Siberia."

"You’ve all heard of these apparently unending contests to choose: The Girl I’d Most Like to Bake a Cake With, or The Girl I’d Most Like to Ski in the Alps With, or The Girl I’d Most Like to Take a Screen Test With, and so on and on. Well, Zena Tabur was the gal chosen by a vast majority of male moviegoers as The Girl I’d Most Like to With."

"He put his arms around her. He held her there, legs dangling. They kissed, like an irresistible farce meeting an unmoving object."

"'Beautiful! Baby, that was it! Print that one! Baby, sweetheart, that was what we’ve been after! Just gorgeous.' I wasn’t sure if he was talking to the boy or the girl, but that’s the way it is in Hollywood."

"Well, it was simply not accurate to call it a burp. It would be more accurate to describe it as a symphony of incompatible gasses, or a Homeric hymn to indigestion, even an entire Black Mass to Gas. It was a whole concert of squeakings and hissings and boomings and bubblings which were themselves merely the overture to a gaseous explosion of such prodigious volume, resonance and duration as to be unique in the entire history of heartburn. Who else but Burper McGee?"

Reading notes: The Cheim Manuscript by Richard S. Prather is included in the Shell Scott PI Mystery Series, Volume Five, part of an inexpensive six volume collection that covers the complete Shell Scott series (or as good as). The series is published as eBook/Kindle editions only by Wolfpack publishing. The Kindle edition is excellent, the series a bargain.